I should be studying

   I should be panicking right now. My college experience is shit, and I'm giving up midway. Maybe I should have stayed away from academics and readied myself for what my life was truly meant for, hard labor and drug addiction, just like my elders. The damage they are doing, the damage they have done. The labor each individual took part in,the labor men easily died for, created a driving force of understanding with the masses riding the momentum.  the ones who carried the world forward are the ones who keep it behind.

    

5 tips to getting over writers block

Writers block can be most devastating, especially when something is due the next day. Why keep suffering from this issue? Get yourself cured of your writers block by following my 5 easy to do exercises.


1. Change your perception.
         Do what you can to change how you perceive situations. Emulate something that is not oneself, create another state of mind.

2. Move
          Exercise improves blood flow, which insures that your mind stays alert. Don't get tired and lazy, get up and move.

3.Take mushrooms
          Taking mushrooms is something that everyone should do in their life. Mushrooms can unlock an incredible amount of creativity and will make your life better in the long run as well.

4.Create art
          Stimulate your creativity by being creative. Making music, drawing, painting, sculpting, etc. will get your creative juices flowing and make writing a breeze.

5.Be wierd
          Nothing says creative like some weird shit.




There you are fellow interwebbers and human beings. Let me know how the shrooms work out for yah. Feel free to donate, I really need a new car.

Sneaking into EDC 2013

  As some of you may know, last month EDC Las Vegas transformed the Las Vegas speedway into a Electronic play-pit full of all sorts of different surprises and attractions. Giant sunglasses etched with electrolite wire was surrounded by a Giant faux boombox and along with multiple carnival rides (all designed to make you sick). I chose to go on the antigravity ride and attempt to stand and almost coated the entire whirling disk with the lunch I just recently ate. While I was sitting criss cross applesauce on this ride, I would feel as though I was floating between two different spinning worlds with two sets of gravity. I thought about Karma, then the awful feeling that I felt, and decided that sneaking in was totally worth it.

 ASK ME HOW

Kick Me in the Nuts for 20 Bucks

   In the City of Las Vegas the art hustling has achieved a new all time high. The competition on the strip is fierce, with Dora the Explorer having a vicious turf battle with transformers bumblebee, as well as Micheal Jackson being upstaged by a 3 year old in a spider man costume during his own performance, If you want to make it big on the strip you need a big idea. When I say big idea I mean BIG. Recently while on the strip I stumbled upon a group of men who will make it big one day but not before a couple of trips to the emergency room as well as some much needed surgery.

   For a small fee of 20 American dollars you can have the chance to live your most desired fantasy, only if your greatest fantasy is to kick a man in the nuts as hard as you can. The fascinating work that these young men are doing is very inspirational as well as mysterious. How miserable does a man get before he turns to selling his body to the public? Are these men worse or better than prostitutes? Can getting your testicles removed be a lucrative business decision? All these questions will be answered next time on RP.

Adderall Review

  I was diagnosed with ADD by a psychologist while in high school. My physician asked me a couple of questions and prescribed me with Adderall XR 20mg. I weighed around 155-160. I took the pills and I did a lot better in school, but something was not right. The pills I was prescribed depleted me of my personality and made me feel like a living zombie. Soon after being prescribed Adderall I  stopped taking it. I hated being a zombie. So many things that I loved about life lost their luster. Being a zombie was not in my agenda so I dumped Adderall like a ton of bees.
  After high school I enrolled in my local college and I realized that I may have needed those pills more than I thought I did. I could not sit still in my classes unless I was deprived of sleep or stoned. My math class was the worst though. I was obnoxious and fidgety. I recall one class I was full of so much energy that I had to leave the class and skateboard around the campus as an attempt to calm myself. It did not work.
  The next semester I tried to prepare myself. I went to the doctor and asked for my prescription again. I was given the same Adderall XR 20mg as last time. I realized that the pills worked extremely well at first, they improved my social anxiety. During the semester I earned all A's which was the same as I earned my first semester. I studied more than I ever have in my life. I started reading. I met a lot of cool people. It felt as if the pills were helping me improve myself.
  After taking the pills for over a month I started to relise the cost of my improvement. The pills caused my appetite to vanish completely. I was so busy with what I was doing I would forget to eat. I had to try and schedule meals because I was never hungry. The pills also made eating unenjoyable. Eating food felt more like work than an enjoyable activity.
 Adderall also made sleeping extremely difficult. I would spend nights laying in bed waiting for hours to fall asleep. After I fell asleep I would wake up more than 3 hours earlier than I normally would. Adderall is a drug that you cannot take everyday. You have to have days were you can catch up on sleep and fatten up a bit.
  Adderall would make you extremely thirsty all the time. My mouth felt dry as a cotton swab and water would never fix it. I would drink 50,000ml of water while in school for 6 hours. I would urinate constantly. It got to the point were urinating begin to hurt. I did some research and it is shown that Adderall can cause urinary tract infections.

  To conclude this article, Adderall can be great for improving yourself but it comes at a price, and that price is your health. Adderall will take away all of your favorite things in life sex, food, sleep, sanity and enjoyment. Take this drug only if you truly need it and if you are thinking of taking Adderall for recreation think again, its not worth it.

Lil B 'The Based God': Gods Father

  Looks like the Based God has done it again. Lil B has finally dropped his most recent mixtape Gods Father, and surprising to you it is great. I really enjoy this mix-tape. The lyrics are great, the beats are great, and the variety is amazing. From the smooth sounds of 'Sf Mission Music', to the emotional tone of 'I Love You', this mix-tape is a must have. Lil B is rare. He has changed the face of rap music for good. The personality of Lil B is very humane. His tweets and status updates are full of simple thoughts, thoughts that are simply overlooked or ignored but need addressing.
  Brandon McCartney, also know as Lil B 'The Based God', has a very successful marketing strategy. He is making his alias Lil B 'The Based God' into a mythic like figure. I think it is amazing. Lil B is everywhere and anywhere. He fucked your bitch, he fucked my bitch. Thank you Based God.


Download Lil B 'The Based God's Gods Father Mixtape



Oh and here is a rare collectable.

Bout Dat Wo

Aderall

Fuck yeah.
I got myt script finally and now i can concentrate

Modofocken

I got some modafocken chocolate. I need to quit smoking bud :).

Well over the past months I have completed my lifeguard certification and got a nice little tan. I was pretty upset when the day of my second interview for the community pool was a cold and windy one. I was branded with a nine written in black sharpie. I guess  I sucked on the 300 yard swim because I was not hired. The icing on the cake was the sun burn that I got. Oh did I mention the nine white nine on my arm that never got sunburned and ended up getting tantooed on my arm.


I made that word up haterz!!!



I went to In n Out the other day. I purchased a cheeseburger and it was byfar the best cheeseburger I have ever consumed.

The end bitche as.

Alcohol

Alcohol...... my anti drug. I havent smoked in what seems like forever. I would love to buy a dub today but I am trying to stay strong. Fucking alcohol is accepted in this society, so I am going to change habits.  :)


Smiley faces... Bitches love smily faces.


Well last week I tried a 4 loko for the first time, shit was kinda nasty but I got a good buzz going from one can. If I was twenty-one I would just buy some micro brew. I dont really enjoy being to drunk, but I love feeling a good buzz. Most of all I love to get some chronic and smoke a bowl to my self. I would love to waste a full day getting high by myself and listening to music or watching a movie. I would love to get blazed, make some stupid samples into some nice instruments and make some ridiculously short loops.

Motivation. Lay it on me.

That is all

Danger. Pain

  Danger, the exposure or vulnerability to harm or risk. It seems like every situation I am in I feel as though I am danger. It only takes one small decision to drastically change ones life.


  Pain, an unpleasant sensation occurring in varying degrees of severity as a consequence of injury, disease, or emotional disorder. Physical pain is only temporary. If pain is severe enough you will not forget how it was caused. 


  When I am in certain situations my body goes into the fight or flight response. In my stomach thousands of butterflies flutter, my heart rests in my throat, every movement is awkward and my thoughts machine gun away.  These feelings should come across in events of danger. These feelings should come across right before an instance of great pain. The thing is, I go through the flight or flight response multiple times a day.
Having this happen to me multiple times a day for over 5 years is ruining my composure. Day to day life is becoming a fight I am beginning to lose. What is with me? 


Thinking sometimes ruins your day. Being aware just ruins your perception of things.


I wish I was ignorant sometimes.


Oh and day 3 without scraping my pipes bowl. Week 1 with ought smoking any bud. Sometimes I think there is just no point.


that is all
  

CJ Tried to Steal My Shit.

Trust cannot be learned through books, it can only be learned through experience. How a friend acts in your view cannot solely justify your trust for them. I remember an experience when I was betrayed by a trusted acquaintance. The experience forced me to question my view of who should be considered a friend. It all begun with an ignored phone call moments before ending my shift at Johnny Rockets, the tiny little malt shop perched in the center of Meadows Mall. Before the call was received it felt like any other summer day. I was casually working in the back room dumping loads of spattered dishes into the tiny dishwasher. The blue slip resistant floor holding the soles of my shoes as I stood by the massive three tub sink, It’s tainted stainless steel cut off by the dirty off-white walls. It was only a few minutes until closing and I was almost complete. I had been there for at least eight hours constantly gathering and cleaning random dishware. It was no surprise that all I could think about was clocking out, how hopefully I could skate to the bus stop in time. After dumping a load of glasses into the dishwasher and my cell phone begins vibrating. I let the phone rumble as I remind myself of the form I signed earlier in the day and how the new policy strictly prohibited cell phone usage.

Grabbing a cart full of waste, I began sprinting toward the dumpster, drifting and swerving past obstacles in my way. I jumped in the air as I slam through the double doors, flashing into the dimly lit hallway. The dozens of dark holes adorning it’s sheet rock walls. I veer left and push the final doors open reaching the dumpsters. I stop the cart and grab the one black bag and two smaller white bags. The giant half full dumpster relaxes it’s disgusting mixture, the softening heat radiating from every square inch of its steel being. As I step closer and toss the bags into the behemoth, I gag from the horrible stench radiating from the opening. I jump back in disgust breathing the untainted air to relieve my nausea. I grab the cart and reenter the building and run back to the restaurant, quickly entering the door upon arrival. Hurriedly, I began unbuttoning my soiled uniform. As I stood struggling with the sleeves I become frustrated and rip off the shirt, breaking the still latched buttons. I grab my skateboard and run to the register, clocking out at nine forty two.

             I burst out of the doors and throw my board to the asphalt below, and with one swift push I proceed to haul ass. I push harder and harder hoping that if I go fast enough I just might catch the bus. For about five minutes I ride with no breaks and no sidewalks, while traffic blazes past me on my left. Eventually, I become too tired to keep the pace up any longer. I stop kicking and start to slow.    Reaching into my right pocket I pull out my portable phone hoping I had time to spare. As the LCD screen flickered on the phone read “1missed call”. I then press the small metallic button in the center of the directional pad telling the phone I want more info.  The screen changes to a new page reading a missed call from an old acquaintance of mine Cj. After pressing the end button, the screen flashes back to the home screen. The date and time typed on the lower half of the screen. I read the time only to realize it was nine forty eight and I had two minutes to get to the bus stop. I freak out and close my phone, quickly placing it in my left pocket. I begin riding faster and faster, only to realize how fatigued I am, my chest stinging with each new breath. I continue pushing past the pain, increasing my effort with each movement. My wheels rattle as I slam my foot back striking the smooth asphalt below. I insist on trying to roll faster but the reality was that my pace was slowing with each burst of effort.  Suddenly I see the bus approximately hundred feet away, accelerating past the newly greened light. It steamed across street I was riding on so viciously, stopping at the people ridden bus stop. The doors fling open and the passengers start boarding the bus. ”STOP!! HOLD THE BUS!!” I scream at the figures lined up by the door of the bus, only to be ignored. I frantically start kicking as hard and fast as I possibly could, feeling pain with every kick and every breath.  I finally reach Decatur taking a sharp right into the lane of traffic and as I do this the buses’ doors close. I use my last bit of energy and smash along the left side of deuce swerving in its path. The bus driver gives me an angered look as he opens the door and I quickly jump off my board only to board the bus. Still wheezing I swipe my transit card and walk up the stairs, sitting down in the back of the bus. I rested my board on the seat to my right next to the window. After catching my breath I begin to relax, feeling as if the day’s ordeals have ended.

            As I arrive at my house at around ten fifteen I am surprised by a mongoose bike strung about on my lawn, the torn piece of tape with “el presidente” written in sharpie peeling of the frame. Confused, I continue walking down the patio toward the door glancing at the unlit bathroom window on my right. A smiling figure, which I assume was my little sister stands staring at me. I continue into my house greeting my mother. I question her about the owner of the bike sitting so precariously upon our lawn. Confused and tired I walk up the stairs into my room only to see my glass water pipe lying on my bed with a large water puddle. Angry at the site I ask my mom if she went in my room and she denies it. Believing her I assume my little sister might be the culprit. I open her door abruptly and see her passed out on her bed. I ask her if she had been in my room and she denied it in a sleep like tone. Frustrated, I continue talking to my mom about the situation, and suddenly Cj walks out of my bathroom with a mischievous smile on his face. His long greasy hair running down his back touched his black Bevis and Butthead t-shirt.

            Cj was an acquaintance of mine, but now he seemed shady. Immediately we confront him, and assault him with questions, only to receive cryptic messages in a heavy accent. We ask him why he was in our house and he replied that he thought I was home. Furious my mom kicks him out of the house and I follow to hopefully get the real story. He continues nervously answering my barrage of questions, not really giving me any info. I ask him about the pungent water puddled around my floor and he tells me he spilled it accidentally while observing my “piece’s” beauty. He honestly thought he did no harm. Frustrated, I instruct Cj to wait while I clean the resinous water spill caused by his stupidity.

            After coming back outside I saw that Cj had left and my friends Devon and Dakota were waiting in his place.  I tell them the story and they inform me of how when they arrived Cj looked extremely nervous, and how he left just as they arrived. Nothing in my room was missing so I just thought it was some kind of cultural difference. As we proceed to smoke and skate up the street we discussed the situation and what I should do. My phone begun vibrating, interrupting my speech. I answered the phone call addressed from my mom. She stated how she discovered evidence in our backyard. She told me of a bag with a name scrawled on the outer canvas sitting on a table in our backyard. Our Nintendo Wii and all its games filled the backpack to the brim. She told me how she also found a bag full of change dumped from a small change bucket standing on a dresser in my room. Upon hearing this, my engines were started. It was all the info I need to pursue the ordeal previously faced. I began discussing the newly found information with Devon and Dakota. We then began discussing whether we should just go to his house to get his address or maybe convince him to “kick it” which would seal his fate. I then took out my phone and dialed his number and to my surprise I called his moms phone instead.

            The Robbers mother, unaware of her son’s rotten escapades, greeted me in a heavy accent while answering her mysterious cellphone call.

“Hey, where’s Cj?”I questioned bluntly

            ”Deis isn't his phone number, cull Cj's cellphone if you wanuh reach em,”

I took a deep breath, and began to speak in a calm casual voice.

            ”oh well just to let you know about twenty minutes ago I caught your son trespassing in my home and trying to rob us,” 

I explained the bag only to discover it was her name written on its face. Like a water jet drilling a giant sponge, constant shock and loads of information ripped at her thought process. She was dead quiet.  I proceeded to threaten her with exaggerated prison terms, and tease her with false promises of leniency.

“So If I could have your address me and my friends are going to skate to your house to call the police.” I took a short pause to allow her to regain her composure.

”Maybe if you get your son to turn himself in, he won't receive too heavy of a charge.”

There was no clear response on the other line as she discussed the information with a man in the background.

            “Here eez Cj's number,” Shouted the man in the background.

He yelled numbers at Cj's mother as she relayed them each to me individually. In her heavy accent, she told me his full number before she quickly hung up the phone. 

            Frustrated we continued west up Lone Mountain toward Jones, and too thirsty to continue, I entered the 7-eleven on the corner while my friends waited by the door. I walked down the aisle towards the cooler, opening the transparent door and grasping a can of Arizona green tea. After purchasing the drink I exit the building and stop next to Devon and Dakota waiting by the door. I pull out my cell phone and begin dialing Cj's real number. I placed the receiver beside my ear and prepared myself for the worst. When he answered I began telling him what the situation has become and how I had the police involved.  He immediately became frightened. He kept trying to convince me that he was sorry. He told me that I never have to talk to him again, but I didn't buy it. I told him if he didn't want to go to prison he would meet us at his house to turn himself in to the police. Like a mouse trapped in a snake’s aquarium, he agreed, hoping to avoid extreme consequences.

            We Left the corner store and continued riding North down Jones, passing the arena like church muffling the area. We skated for about two miles and reaching his neighborhood just south of Ann road. I turned left into his neighborhood and the first right down a dimly lit street. We screeched to a halt in front the one story house covered in vines and surrounded by shrubbery. The gate held up by a single bungee cord, swaying back and forth as the chalk like rocks crunched below. I text the address to my mom and wait for her reply. About fifteen minutes after we arrive Cj pulls up on his stolen bike.

            “Why did you do it scumbag?” I said mockingly.

            “ I wasn't trying to rob you man. I was just seeing if you were home...,”

He paused for what seemed like twenty seconds as he watched the dusty concrete gutter at his feet.

”If I took your stuff I would have just, kinda, borrowed it, ”

            ”If you were going to borrow it then why were you hiding in my bathroom with the lights shut off?” 

            ”I wasn't hiding. I had…to use the restroom,”

            “Why would the lights be off if you were going to the bathroom, tell me that, huh?”

            “I always piss and shit in the dark... me.. me and  my step dad do it all the time in my house... so I.. I.. do it at other people’s houses too,“ he murmured.

 I busted out with laughter; it was the most bullshit explanation I have ever heard. I began unleashing my thoughts on the subject, telling him that he needed to get his life situated. He told me how his best friends started ditching him and that he never had a group to hang out with. He said I was always busy and never answer his calls, and that I never ask him if he wanted to skate. He continued telling me how maybe he wanted to also. Saddened by his confessions I advised him that his predicament was no reason to rob anybody. After that no words were exchanged.

            Since reaching Cjs residence we waited about two hours for the North Las Vegas police to arrive. Cj turned himself in, and I wrote my statement. After thanking the cop I began skating back toward the direction of my home, sore and sleepy. I entered my dark house at one thirty on the Wednesday morning and walked clumsily up the stairs tripping on my loosened jeans. I felt as if I was the criminal. Maybe I shouldn’t have called the police I thought to myself. I guess there is no real trust in this world. As long as people are free thinking they can’t be trusted.

I quit smoking Canabis

I Have been "not high" or in lackeys terms "sober" since my post about being super blazed. I never felt a single symptom of . I did not feel sick a single moment. The withdrawals we absent. This is all due to the fact that the flowers of the female cannabis plants. The only symptoms were the daily energy and bordom.
 It feels good to be in this mindset..no more falling asleep on the couch the night before an early morning shift..no more shady drug deals..no more paranoia..no more flavor enhancements.. no more euphoria..no more awareness..not as much dep thought..no more burning eyelids..no more music enhancement..no more creativity..no more videogames..no more great sleep.

 I have been working often and it is what has been keeping me from posting as much as I have been wanting. Soon i will do more interesting things and write better stuff. the end

First time for everything

  Today I was called into work. My old manager found a new job so she was replaced by a new manager, his name is Ron. Now, before I go on any further Ron Is a homosex, I have never really been around a homosex. I have not even tried to talk to them. I am not prejudice against homosexuals, if that is what you think, but it is very awkward talking to them.
   The first time I actually met this new manager was when I was totally baked for the first time at this job and the first time in two weeks. I introduced myself, and at the time I was very paranoid. This motherfucker comes up to me and in the most homosex voice ever he says,
"Oh, my, God. We made it to $$$$. That is, FANTABILOUS,"
I just stood there contemplating what i would say back. As a heterosexual individual I am not very keen in homosex speek, I was also blazed out of my mind at the time. So all I did was bust out laughing in my "holy shit im high as fuck and that shit was fucking hilarious" laugh. It is so weird having to talk to a homosex. They are just like regular people except realy realy gay. I cant take this guy seriously because he acts like a girl. What am I to do?

To all the homosexuals out there, sorry if this was offensive. I was not trying to be. And I think homosex is a term for the ages.

An Analysis of My Dreams

An Analysis of My Dreams

Through the analysis of the three most significant dreams written in my personal dream log, my subconscious desires and anxieties can be interpreted.  Research and personal interpretation have revealed that my waking life has become out of control, and the fear of loss and the desire to make a good impression can contribute to this feeling. For the past three months, I have been riding my newly acquired longboard daily without any days of rest. Since acquiring my new form of transportation, excitement is an emotion that I associate with a successful day. Living by this belief, I expect each new day to carry an increased feeling of exhaustion both mentally and physically. The physical and psychological stress put upon my body in the waking world can be revealed through the pertaining themes of my dreams.

Dream # 1

The first dream recorded in my journal has two separate parts that seem very different, but carry the same themes. In the beginning of the dream, I am on a mountain bike riding at extremely dangerous speeds down a steep hill. I associated the surrounding buildings and scenery with San Francisco, as there was a red bridge in the background. As I fly down the hill waiting for the deadly crash that awaited me I observe an audience and camera men watching me with great awe. The host of the event stands and recites the challenge of the new and exciting reality show that I am unwillingly apart of. As I am flying down the long terrifying hill I see multiple other contestants ahead of me losing control and tumbling down the steep decline. Upon reaching the end of the hill at a very unreasonable speed, I am flung of the bike and tumble down the rest of the hill, as the crowd cheers with excitement. After I come to a rest I immediately stand up and to my surprise I have received no injury. After assessing the damage, I am approached by a man from audience who asks me if I would like to work for the city’s most successful restaurant. Without hesitation I agree, and follow the man a few yards away to a shack like building. Upon entering the simplistic building I am surprised by a large group of people surrounding a table of odd looking foods. The group all wore a simple black uniform which I was now wearing. I proceed to walk to the first person to introduce myself and after receiving a complex name, I pick up an extra-large tortilla and a cake decorator filled with a guacamole like paste. I begin writing each name on the tortilla in hopes of remembering them all, and after finishing we all sit and start eating the large array of unrecognizable food before us. Without thinking I slather the tortilla with beans accidentally ruining my edible name sheet, I take a bite and wake up in a state of regret.

Analysis of Dream #1

The first part of the dream can show a person falling down a hill with no sense of control, the crowd awaiting their humiliation. Dreams of falling occur when one feels completely overwhelmed or out of control ("I'm Falling".(n.d)). This can be explained by my inexperience with writing college papers and the overwhelming, almost terrifying thoughts of failure. The fact that I was recently fired can also contribute to the feeling of not being in control. In the dream, not gaining control in time brings about a horrible accident, as my peers watch in amusement. This can symbolize an assumption of unworthiness and a feeling of being singled out by society. It can express the pressure to live a successful life, and if one does not succeed one fails and becomes a laughing stock.  “Falling dreams also often reflect a sense of failure or inferiority in some circumstance or situations.”(I'm Falling, n.d). “To see an unruly crowd in your dream signifies that the worries and problems around you are pressing in on you. You are expressing great distress.”( Crowd, n.d). The fact that I fell and was embarrassed shows my lack of self-confidence. “To dream that you are embarrassed signifies hidden weaknesses, fears and lack of self-confidence.”(Embarrassment, n.d).

The second part of the dream I receive a great job, and I am so preoccupied with making a good impression that I forget what I tried to remember. “To dream that you are at work, indicates that you are experiencing some anxiety about a current project or task. The dream may also be telling you that you need to "get back to work".  Perhaps you have been slacking off and need to pick up the pace. Stop procrastinating. Alternatively, the dream reflects your success.” (Work, n.d). Since being fired my main goal has been to find a new job, but I have still not turned in a single application. I have been filled with a sense of failure, which has been keeping me from going out and taking the initiative.  I think of myself as an insignificant person who can be replaced easily, I don’t feel worthy of even the most simple positions.  This can be shown by my failed effort of meeting my expectations of a good impression. This can express my insecurities, and my tact for forgetting names. Eating the tortilla can symbolize a personal choice ruining a chance for renewal. This can come from recently being fired due to failing a drug test for marijuana. This also shows how out of control my life feels, how I feel shunned by society just because I enjoy sensimilla, or because I try to live life to my own standards.

Dream #2

I dream I am at a Nirvana concert, but instead of the band the crowd watches a projection of the band on a white movie screen. I am perched directly in the center of the mosh pit and I am being tossed around like a ragdoll. I am the smallest skinniest individual in a small room packed with fat but strong looking men. As I try to escape the sea of bodies I am thrown to the floor by the biggest guy in the pit. I lay helpless being stepped on and kicked about until finally I am picked up by the man who put me there in the first place. As I escape the pit and regain my composure, I see my sister with her boyfriend by bleachers, filled with spectators. I tell them that I am leaving and pick up my Longboard which lay next to them. I exit the building and begin skating around the parking lot which resembled a park by my old elementary school. I then wake up wishing it was a real Nirvana concert.

Analysis of Dream #2

I dreamt of a concert for a band associated with my past, except the band was not real, and I am tossed around like a ragdoll feeling helpless, my survival in the hands of another. Being in a helpless situation can show “Some aspect of your life where you feel vulnerable or like you could use some help” (helpless or vulnerable, n.d). Being the smallest and youngest person in the crowd can show a feeling of weakness. “To dream that you are weak, refers to your feelings of inadequacy” (Weak, n.d). This can express my feeling of being vulnerable to violence, how I have a feeling of being inadequate at defending myself. Being picked up by someone I do not recognize signifies not having a choice of salvation. It may express the apprehension to ask for help, waiting for it rather than asking. It can convey the idea of not being in control of one’s life, taking the abuse from the older generation. My sister could be a form of protection, there to make me feel at ease (Sister, n.d). Exiting the concert can express a feeling of wanting to end a situation in the waking life (exit, n.d). My longboard can be a familiar item that further calms me down. It can signify my free, fun-loving side (skateboard, n.d) that only comes out when I am not facing my problems.

Dream #3

I dreamt I was walking around the neighborhood and I stumble upon a newly opened skateboard shop. I enter the store and see a familiar board; I immediately buy it with no hesitation. I exit the store and begin skating toward Albertsons. Upon arriving I try a 180 power slide and to my surprise I do it for the first time ever. It felt extremely simple as I did it about four more time until finally I do a 360. After sticking it I try again and my board breaks. I felt regretful and immediately I go back to the skate shop and buy another one. After exiting the skate shop for the second time, I head to my marijuana dealers house. Upon entering I start smoking cannabis and talking about my ne board. I ask him if he wanted to ride it and he refused. Telling me, ”No way, I’ll bust my ass.” After his refusal I leave for Albertsons. While skating on the sidewalk I see a man and woman standing by the bus stop. Immediately after spotting them a North Las Vegas Police car drives past. The man and woman immediately start making out as if they were hiding something. I skate past them, finally arriving at Albertsons. I noticed how bad the qualities of the trucks were; they wobbled, as if they were not even bolted down. I proceeded to do more 360s and 180s and upon attempting an Ollie my second board snaps. I wake up feeling accomplished, with an urge to pick up an Earthwing “La Paloma Rapido” skateboard deck.

Analysis of Dream #3

I dreamt about stumbling upon a store that does not exist in waking life and buying something I desire only to break it immediately afterward, I then accomplish a feat that once seemed implausible. Finding a skate shop can express a desire for a neighborhood skate shop in real life. Buying something in a dream can express ones desires and how to acquire them (shopping, n.d). Breaking my newly acquired skate board can signify the short lived joy that comes from buying something desired. Skateboards may not break that easily in real life but it can still signify how nothing is forever and how you can’t always decide when something should come to an end. It expressed a feeling of not being in control. Smoking marijuana in the dream can express a feeling of “…experiencing an expanded sense of awareness and consciousness,” (Marijuana, n.d). The couple making out in a suspicious way can show my distrust for humanity or a distrust of the police. In a way this dream illustrates that buying happiness is only a quick fix that does not last long. Buying two boards that broke can show a feeling of insignificance. Buy buying two bad quality boards I assume I am a bad decision maker.

Conclusion

In conclusion, my dreams express a lack of control in my life, showing me that to gain control I must ignore the standards set by my peers. It expresses a feeling of being bullied by older generations and the struggles associated with breaking free of this feeling. The key topic of these dreams is that no one can take control of my life but me, and that I must ignore my insecurities and fight for what I believe in.

References

I'm Falling. (n.d). Retrieved from

http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/fallingdreams.pl?method=exact&header=dreamid&search=fallingintro

Crowd. (n.d). Retrieved from http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/c4.htm 

Embarrassment. (n.d). Retrieved from http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/e.htm   

Work. (n.d).   Retrieved from   http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/w3.htm

helpless or vulnerable. (n.d). Retrieved from

http://www.mydreamvisions.com/dreamdictionary/symbol.php?DreamMeaningID=2117

Weak. (n.d). Retrieved from http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/w2.htm

Sister. (n.d). Retrieved from http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/s2.htm

Exit. (n.d). Retrieved from http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/e2.htm

Skateboard. (n.d). Retrieved from http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/s2.htm

Shopping. (n.d). Retrieved from http://www.unclesirbobby.org.uk/dreamessayshop.php

Marijuana. (n.d). Retrieved from  http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/m.htm

Im so fucking high right now

  So I woke up today like what the shit? Why am I so baked? Am I not real? WTF? I had to work so. I took a shower witch felt great. I dried myself with a towel believe it or not. I got some oatmeal and started preparing that shit. Shit looked so dank. Like what the fuck. Im going to eat this shit. It was fucking benevolent. i meant what the fuck am I supposed to do in that position. I scarfed it down. Shit was fucking dank.
  I dont really know what this blog is about quite yet. I will soon come up with a some ideas once I am not high. I will perhaps talk about quitting marijuana. It will be an exciting endeavor with such great themes and imaging that one brain will tumor right then and their. Excuse my bad grammer because that is what I do. I would like to go outside now but it is a little chilly. I can probably rough it, but i have to pee. I dont really feel like walking to the bathroom though.