solitude

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Solitude

·      Solitude is typically something we choose for ourselves

·      In solitude, we make time to be with ourselves and to discover who we are

·      Solitude provides an opportunity for renewal

·      Through solitude we are able to examine our lives and gain a sense of perspective

Loneliness

·      Often results from certain events in life such as:

o   Death of someone we love

o   The decision to leave a secure job for an unknown one

o   Moving to a new city

o   A long stay in a hospital

·      An experience of feelings set apart from others

·      Can indicate that we have failed to listen to our inner voice

Types of loneliness

·      Transient loneliness

o   Brief feelings of loneliness when there is a disruption in one’s social network

·      Chronic loneliness

o   When people are unable to establish meaningful interpersonal relationships over a long period of time

Types of loneliness

·      Everyday loneliness

o   The pain of being isolated from other people, which may be related to fears of intimacy, rejection, or shame

·      Existential loneliness

o   A profound sense of an unbridgeable gap that separates us from others, which is related to our awareness that each of us inhabits a world of fully known only to ourselves

Ways people attempt to escape from facing loneliness

·      Living an overscheduled life

·      Striving for perfect control of the environment

·      Surrounding ourselves with people

·      Becoming a slave to routine

·      Numbing ourselves with alcohol or drugs

·      Eating for emotional reasons

·      Spending many hours on the computer, watching T.V., playing videogames

Some consequences of shyness

·      Can make it difficult to communicate effectively and express oneself

·      Often holds people back from meeting new people

·      May result in feelings of depression, anxiety, and loneliness

·      Can hold people back in progression in education or their careers

·      Leads some individual to develop a dependency on alcohol as a way t feel more relaxed and sociable

Loneliness and the life stages

·      Childhood

o   Loneliness is an inevitable part of life beginning in childhood

o   Reliving childhood experiences of loneliness can help adults come to grips with their present fears about being alone or lonely

·      Adolescence

o   Bodily changes one’s search for identity, and the need to be accepted and liked may compound an adolescent’s feelings of loneliness

o   The price of nonconformity may be steep; Adolescents may feel all alone in the world

·      Young adult

o   How young adults come to terms with their own aloneness effects the choices they make—Choices that, in turn, may determine the course of their lives

o   Life circumstances and cultural factors also pave the way to a lonely existence

·      Middle age

o   Changes at midlife such as children leaving the nest can lead to feelings of emptiness and loss

o   Feelings dissatisfied with one’s career or life choices can exacerbate loneliness

·      The later years

o   In a society that prizes productivity, youth, beauty, power, and vitality, older adults may feel they are not needed or valued anymore

o   Loneliness of the later years can be accentuated by the losses that come with age:

§  Loss of bodily functions

§  Loss of career or jobs

§  Loss of certain hobbies

§  Loss of friends and loved ones

notes from professor.