Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Anger in Relationships

Anger in Relationships

A few tips in dealing with anger:
-       Value the recognition and expression of anger
-       Express anger in a way that does not assassinate another’s character
-       Don’t hold on to anger or nurse grudges
-       Recognize danger signs when anger gets in the way of relationships
-       Talk more about yourself than about what is wrong wit the other person
-       Decide when it is better not to express anger


Dealing effectively with conflict and confrontation

Conflict can be a healthy sign of individual differences. If conflict emerges, keep the following points in mind:
-       If you confront a person, know why
-       View confrontation as a caring act
-       Accept responsibility for your own feelings
-       Tell others how you are struggling with them
-       Don’t walk away from conflict be open to forgiving others who have hurt you
-       Be willing to forgive yourself

Barriers to effective communication

-       recognizing communication blocks is the first step forward opening the channels to dialogue
-       some barriers are:
o   hearing only what you want to hear
o   being overly concerned about getting your point across
o   silently rehearsing what you will say as you are “listening”
o   Becoming overly defensive making assumptions about the other person without checking them out

Coping worth the termination of a meaningful relationship
-       allow yourself the time to grieve
-       express your anger without violence
-       take responsibility for your own part in the relationship
-       find a support network
-       take care of other aspects of you life
-       make use of writing in your journal
-       be willing to forgive—both yourself and the other person
-       seek closure and learn from the experience

Notes by professor


  1. I love these notes...Im learning a lot from blog spot users :P

  2. Something for the coping with the end of a meaningful relationship; don't let yourself idealize the other person afterwards. I've noticed lots of people put their past relationships up on pedestals after they are over.

  3. These are good points. I have also studied the ways of giving feedback. Cheers!

  4. i prefer to bottle my anger and nurture it till i can use it effectively against someone.

  5. Hearing what you only want to hear - Yes, my brother has this. I could punch the fuck if i could haha

  6. Been in a relationship for 4 years so far, she still hasnt gotten the fact that I need my space with the boys.

  7. This is very enlightening. Most people think that anger is a negative emotion but it is one of the most basic emotions that humans have.

  8. Thats quite a different perspective on the issue of anger it self in relationships. Definitely worth a read.

  9. I've been guilty of "rehearsing" while I'm supposed to say when I'm supposed to be listening.