- Do not be yourself
- Lie
- Do not talk about coworkers to other co workers
- Do not have sex with a coworker unless you know you will not be working with them for long
- Do not trust your coworkers
- Learn everyones name as soon as possible
- Do not be boring
- Be cool with everyone
- Buy kool-aid and shit so everyone likes you
- Do the best job you possibly can
- Do not work for a flat hourly rate
- Do not work at Johnny Rockets
- Do not work at a grocery store
- Do not take pens home
- Shower regularly
- Just leave your manager's Justin Beiber song on, it will end eventually
- Do not be the company bitch
- Do not dress up like a penguin when you have a fever and bronchitis
- Do not drink while on the job
- Take all your breaks and lunches
- Have a written copy of your hours worked
- Try to arrive to work 15 minutes early
- Leave if the job makes you miserable
- If you smoke weed/do drugs do not accept the promotion
- Hair tests are hard to pass
- Pee tests are easy to pass
- Hide your boner, Pro tip: Bite your wrist and think of dead babies
- If someone you are attracted to gives you their number, be sure to label it correctly
- Correctly label the member of the opposite sex's number
- Keep your clothes clean and pressed
- Manage your hair
- Be your managers friend but not too much
- Learn the place before you slack or mess around
- Take advantage of any discounts
- Avoid having your friends visit you at work
- Eat before work
- Be prepared for anything
- Be truthful
- Love your job or find a new one
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Things I Learned At Work
This is a list of valuable lessons I have learned from different jobs I have had. Read this list and remember as much as you can. This is just a small amount of what I have learned, nevertheless it is important.
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Should I both lie and be truthful, or do I choose?
ReplyDeleteyou will know when the time is right.
ReplyDelete